Monday, February 18, 2008


Hi All,

My new best blogging buddy, Ms Single Mama, has convinced me to make the move to WordPress. I've been working on the transition, and, although am still working on some design changes, the page is up and running (and includes all posts from this site) ... cross your fingers!

Going forward, you can find me at:

Hope to hear from you!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Conversation With My Heart

Did you know, if placed back-to-back, Sweethearts Conversation Hearts would reach one million miles - enough to go back and forth to the moon twice or around the world 40 times?

These are things you learn while consuming a 20 oz bag over the course of just five days.

Yes, I believe I've made myself diabetic.

That's not even the really sad thing. (Let me preface this by saying I debated long and hard whether to post this, fearing it may sound too pathetic.) The other night, deep in a sugar-induced stupor, and feeling a bit melancholy, I found myself reaching out to my late ex ... and asking for a sign from the beyond. A sign that he was still around. Watching over us. Watching over his daughter.

So, curled up on the couch with aforementioned bag, I told myself maybe he would speak to me through the hearts. I dove my hand in and pulled out the first.

Miss You.

I lost it.

Heart after heart, I convinced myself he was sending me a message. I smiled through the tears. It didn't matter that, somewhere tucked back in a corner of my psyche, I still remained rational enough to know nearly all the hearts, in fact, would of course give me the words I wanted so desperately to hear.

One I Love.

True Love.



But I allowed myself to ignore the rational, if only for a short time, and experience the familiar flood of bittersweet emotions that, each time they come, ultimately leave me a little closer to healed.

The real tragedy in his passing a year and a half ago are the words that were left unsaid. Maybe he was speaking to me through a bag of Valentine candy. Crazier things have happened. And I'll never stop believing anything's possible.

That Damn Peter Fonda

Holy Hell, that damn Flower Power infomercial is back. Went on a teensy internet shopping binge tonight, so feeling a bit vulnerable -- I don't know how much longer I can continue to deny Peter ...

Wash My Mouth Out With Soap

Jane Fonda dropped the C-bomb on the Today Show Thursday, and people are freaking OUT.

People, it's a WORD. Albeit, by societal standards, a pretty bad one, but just the same ... a WORD.

As a lover of words, the notion that ANY word could be bad, strikes me as fundamentally wrong. A word, bad? Really? Who says? When you boil it down, what are words really? Sounds. When you think about it that way, doesn't it all seems rather ... absurd?

Right about now you're thinking I must be a big fat filthy toilet mouth, but if you've read the archives at all, you know I'm not much of a swearer. (This will actually be an F-bomb first in this blog.) Because I embrace the English lexicon does not mean I choose to use every word in it. (I don't find much occasion to use lachrymose or sabulous either...)

I do admit however, sometimes a good FUCK just feels good ...

Ba da bump.

Bear with me - here comes the complete and total hypocracy.


Bad Word: Butt
Good Words: Tush, Tushy

Bad Word: Fart

Good Word: Toot

Bad Word: Hate
Good Words: Don't like

Bad Words: Shut up

Good Words: Be quiet

Word only to be said when praying or making a reference: God

All other times, substitute with: Gosh, Goodness

So, you see my dilemma. I'm philosophically at odds.

It's ingrained. In me. In everyone. In every culture. Certain words are always going to have a (sometimes illogical) stigma attached. I don't know how many times as a kid I had my mouth washed out with soap -- LAVA, even! -- for sassing. The consequences of uttering an actual swear word were ... *shiver* too frightening to imagine.

From the New York Times
(I'm off on a tangent, but this is a really interesting article):
"Researchers have also examined how words attain the status of forbidden speech and how the evolution of coarse language affects the smoother sheets of civil discourse stacked above it. They have found that what counts as taboo language in a given culture is often a mirror into that culture's fears and fixations."

(Hmmm ... Keeping this in mind, as I think about it, most of our culture's "bad" words relate to sex or bodily functions. Discuss.)

I don't much care if other people swear. (It's only annoying when it's every other word -- comparable to the irritation I feel when someone says "like" or "ah" or "you know" every other sentence.) But like most parents, I don't want my child around it. Let alone repeating it. (There's that damn hypocracy again ...)

Like the time about seven months ago MP, standing with an impish smile in the middle of Grammy's kitchen ... let it fly.

"Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck."

The sucking sound as all air left the room was deafening. I was horrified. (Turns out she heard it at preschool ... honestly!)

Hypocrite, I know. I know!

It's a conundrum.

Friday, February 15, 2008

A Seinfeld Moment

So, we're racing to gymnastics this morning, right on the verge of being late (business as usual), and about 100 yards from the gym, traffic slows to a stop. We see flashing red lights ahead. We've come to a train crossing, and a L-O-N-G train is S-L-O-W-L-Y making its way across the road.

"Aaarrgghhh!" I say, frustrated.

And from the back seat, a heavy, exasperated sigh. "Newman!"

That's my girl.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy International Quirkyalone Day!

YAY!!! If you don't know what a Quirkyalone is, you'll want to visit this site, where International Quirkyalone Day is defined as follows:

"International Quirkyalone Day is a do-it-yourself celebration of romance, friendship, and independent spirit. It's a celebration of all kinds of love: romantic, platonic, familial, and yes, self-love. International Quirkyalone Day is not anti-Valentine's Day. It's NOT a pity party for single people. It's an alternative -- a feel-good alternative to the marketing barrage of Valentine's Day and an antidote to the silicone version of love persented in shows such as Hooking Up and The Bachelor.

Above all, IQD is a celebration of romance, f
reedom and individuality. It celebrates true romance (as opposed to the fake versions presented to us in reality dating shows), independence, creativity, friendship, and all kinds of love -- including love for yourself. If you are single, International Quirkyalone Day is a call to arms to celebrate the possibilities available to single people today. If you are partnered, IQD is a vital reminder to value yourself and develop your individuality even when in a couple. Couples (especially quirkytogethers, of course) are welcomed to attend. After all, many a partnered person complains about the contrived nature of Valentine's Day.

Quirkyalone Day is based on the ideas in Sasha Cagen's book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. It's an invitation to create a great day for yourself, whatever that means to you (and your partner if you have one and choose to celebrate with him or her). It's a day to celebrate the things you love to do alone and the things you love to do with your friends. Ways to celebrate include: throwing a dinner party, buying yourself new underwear, rearranging your furniture, taking a long walk without your cell phone, exploring a new part of town, organizing a card-making party, trying a new recipe, or coming to or hosting a quirkyalone party."

Sasha Cagan is so my HERO! I read her book a few years ago, and loved it so much, I bought four copies and sent one to each of my best Quirkyalone girlfriends for Valentine's Day last year. Even if you don't fall into the Quirkyalone category, single or not, I'm betting you'll get a kick out of it.

Publishers Weekly says, "Cagen writes, her words echoing with the uplifting message that it's not strange to be single; rather, single is the new norm. Cagen speaks out against dating for the sake of being in a couple and highlights the celebrities who fit and don't fit the quirkyalone mold (Oprah: "of course"; Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks: "[E]nemies of quirkyalones everywhere").

Check out the Quirkyalone site and take the quiz to see if you fall into this category. I can't say it enough -- I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this whole empowering, validating movement!

Valentine's Day by the Numbers

I love stats. So, to celebrate Valentine's Day and embrace my inner geek, here are some numbers from the U.S. Census Bureau I'm recording for posterity. Someday, I suspect, if it's still around, this list will blow MP's mind (for many reasons) ...

2.2 million
The number of marriages that take place in the United States annually. That breaks down to more than 5,918 a day.

The number of marriages performed in Nevada during 2006. So many couples tie the knot in the Silver State that it ranked fourth nationally in marriages, even though its total population that year among states was 35th.

25.5 and 27.5
The estimated U.S. median ages at first marriage for women and men, respectively, in 2006. The age for women rose 4.2 years in the last three decades. The age for men at first marriage is up 3.7 years.

56% and 60%
The percentages of American women and men, respectively, who are 18 or older and currently married (includes those who are separated).

Percentage of men and women ages 30 to 34 in 2006 who had been married at some point in their lives—either currently or formerly.

5 million
Number of opposite-sex cohabitating couples who maintained households in 2006. These couples comprised 4.4 percent of all households.

Number of single men (i.e., never married, widowed or divorced) who are in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same ages.

Number of single men (i.e., never married, widowed, or divorced) age 65 or older for every 100 single women of the same ages.

The number of dating service establishments nationwide as of 2002. These establishments, which include Internet dating services, employed nearly 4,300 people and pulled in $489 million in revenues. (I can only imagine how large this number is now ...)

Love Lost (and Found)

12:35 a.m.
There's going to be MAJOR DRAMA in about seven hours if I can't find MP's Disney Princess and Monsters Inc. valentines. God only knows where that kid stashed them ...

1:29 a.m.
Valentines located. Found stuffed in two blank envelopes. Now please excuse me while I write "To My Friend, From MP" 32 times, brush my teeth, and collapse.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hunchback of a Dame

Yes, I know I have poor posture.

Blame it on the height.

Or the nightly bath routine of a rambunctious preschooler.

So thank you, my anonymous friend, for pointedly placing this in my inbox (and my inbox alone!), and reminding me that a back is a terrible thing to waste. Were it not for you, I may have forgotten to drink my milk at dinner tonight.

It's good to be loved.